Tuesday, February 19, 2013

a gushing rant.

It is way past time for my blog to have an extreme make-over.  I've been thinking the past several weeks about changes to be made, possible things I could do with it, great posts I could write, etc.  I was thinking my return post would be something a little more inspirational, motivational...conversational??  Anyway, something different than what this post will be...but alas, this must be done.  There are times in one's life when all one needs to do to find a little peace of mind is rant. 

Let me begin by saying that the number of things I gush (yes, gush) about in this life is quite small.  Examples include the occasional pasta dish or divine dessert, the last 5 gloriously romantic minutes of BBC's North and South, and other such trivial things.  But without a doubt, the #1 on my to-be-gushed-about list is Josh Groban. 
 


 
Ohhh, Josh... How I love him! To quote a favorite chick-flick, "I...can't help...myself." His voice, his hair, his voice, his eyes, his voice, his smile, and did I mention his voice???  Italian, French, Spanish, English...regardless of the language or the song, his singing puts me in a floating-through-the-clouds kind of state. Aside from having remarkable good looks, that man has got talent.  Even my father, who's opinions about Josh and his music are quite the opposite of mine, cannot deny this fact. 

*Side note: an injustice secondary to the subject of this post concerning Josh that I still have not fully recovered from is that my unimpressed father got to see Josh Groban live in San Diego free of charge...and I did not.

As a devoted fan, I am on his e-mail list.  Every couple of weeks or so, I sign in to my e-mail and am greeted by the most wonderful sight... 'New Messages (1) From: Josh Groban'  A simply wonderful addition to any day!  I know that Josh most likely has absolutely no involvement with the composition of these e-mails, but it still brings joy to my heart to see a message from him in my inbox. 

So, a few weeks ago I opened one of these delightful e-mails to read information about Josh's latest album that was soon to be released.  Since I already owned 6 of his albums, I was looking forward to adding to my precious collection.  The e-mail included a special opportunity for fans to listen to the new album tracks on itunes, which I promptly linked to and enjoyed...multiple times.  And it was beautiful, as could only be the case with an artist such as he. 

In my excitement I returned to the e-mail and clicked on the link advertising a pre-order of the "Fan Bundle" which included a year of fan club membership, a membership card, an immediate digital download of the opening track, the actual cd, and 3 bonus tracks, all delivered straight to me!  I was sold.
 
 
You may be wondering, "How much?"

$29.99

Plus shipping.

I know, I know...and I should have made the decision based on what I know!  Through this whole process, my dear roommate Sarah was listening to my gushing...and bless her soul for doing so.  She tried to warn me, she tried to tell me what I already knew, but I wouldn't listen.  I wanted those bonus tracks, and I wanted them bad.  It was the day before pay day, and my love for Josh won out. I bought it.

I didn't think anything else about the matter until my package arrived in the mail the following week.  I had a lovely time listening to my new cd, but I must say, I was slightly disappointed with the bonus tracks.  They were fine, just not quite the extraordinary I've come to expect from Josh.  The membership card also came in the package...another disappointment.  One sided, flimsy plastic, no picture of Josh, and not personalized at all!  Seriously, I expected more.  I kept my disappointment to myself however, and tried rather hard not to think about how much I had paid for my special package. 

That should be story enough.  But I'm not finished.  Are you still reading?  I'm sorry.

Today was President's Day.  Instead of teaching, Sarah, her mom, and I went on a shopping trip!  We had a great time shopping away our afternoon.  As our day was winding down, we stopped by Target before heading to dinner.  As we walked by the music, Sarah stopped to browse through the recently released cds, and what should she see???  Josh Groban's new album!  As she checked the price, we were surprised to see that it only cost $11.99.  I was a little taken aback, but of course, this was just the regular edition, you know, for the people who aren't true fans.  Sarah picked up the cd and turned it over.

What I saw next broke my heart, boiled my blood, and tickled my funny bone.  Have you ever experienced each of those things at the same time?  The combination of emotions this creates is extremely difficult to manage and cope with.  I'm still working through them, hours later.  On the back of the album Sarah held was the list of the regular album tracks, and not three but four bonus tracks.  For $11.99.  Less than half of what I paid for less Josh.  My mind was reeling...this couldn't be happening!  Where was my fourth bonus track?!  Wasn't I the devoted fan??  Hadn't I paid my dues??? 

Josh and I were the punch-line of jokes for the next hour.
 
As we got back into the car, Sarah opened up her new cd and went straight to the last bonus track so I could listen and be absolutely sure I didn't have it on my cd.  As the music began, my heart leapt and fell all over again.  Josh began singing "Play Me." 
Yes, the Neil Diamond song. 
 
 
I cannot begin to put into words what this meant to me.  Neil Diamond warms my heart...in a very, very different way than Josh...but he warms it nonetheless.  The fact that Josh was paying tribute to Neil through an absolutely gorgeous rendition of this song literally brought tears of joy and pain to my eyes (no tears fell, so I wouldn't say it actually made me cry).  Joy in the appreciation and love of the Josh-Neil combination, and pain from knowing that I did not have personal access to it.

$29.99

Plus shipping.

The agony. 

Has my love for Josh diminished?  Not in the slightest.  I would, however, like to have a very serious conversation with his sales rep.  Through this whole life event, I have received consolation through one thing only:  My loyalty and devotion to Josh is sure.  Should anyone doubt me, I have a flimsy plastic fan club membership card in my wallet to prove it. 
 
 
    

     

        

7 comments:

  1. Oh Kristi! How you make me smile. I am so sorry for you and the sneakiness of Josh Groban fan club! I am so happy thought that you are an official member! Can I tell you how happy it makes me that you are blogging again! Miss you lots!

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  2. This is sooo funny. Thank you for making me laugh!! Love, Laura

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  3. How sad! This was a thoroughly entertaining post, but sorry at the expense of your "agony". I love you and miss you! And so sorry!

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  4. Wow. I think you are quite pathetic...just saying. lol!

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  5. My darling Kristi- You make me laugh when no one is watching or listening for that matter. Loved your post.

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  6. Ah ha ha ha! Thats all I have to say. At least you are an "official member." Love ya cuz!

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  7. This is fantastic! Josh and Neil in the same post?!! I can't find words to explain my sheer joy. Also.. I am so proud you mentioned your love for Josh's hair. Because, as you know, longer hair is, of course, pure hotness. I too, share your extreme love for his hair.

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